Met the only onther non-Thai person in Nakhon Si Tamorrat. And his guns are bigger than mine:
After getting completely lost trying to find our way to Khau Luang National Park yesterday we decided that it made far more sense to make the (supposedly) easier journey up to Sichon yesterday. Lonely Planet in hand, simply does it… find the local bus station hop on the bus and you’re there. The first part of that went swimmingly, and couldn’t believe our luck. 5 minutes after finding the bus station (right away!) it turned up, and on we popped.
Like a cross between a 1970s disco and the bus that Red gets on in Shawshank Redemption after his relseas, it held within it the worst concoction of colours I’ve ever set eyes upon. Even worse than me mother’s previous living room roompaper and garage door paint. Not only that but inside were huge amplifiers, a television and a massive sign 1970s-like sign proclaiming: “Hitatchi’s newest, biggest and best sound system”. Another one of those things that just doesn’t make sense. A bit like the guy who works outside the Thai hotel where we’re staying with a whistle who’s only job it seems is to whistle very loudly 103 times a minute to direct traffic out into a completely traffic-free road. Another one of those absurdly, “doesn’t make sense” situations we’ve had trouble getting our heads around in Thailand. How can someone be employed to do an absolutely pointless job? And for heavens sake why does he take it so seriously!!??
Anyway, on the bus we jumped and 10 minutes later (after driving an average speed of 12mph) we stopped. Engine off, driver jumps out and sits down by a Hawker stall with a fag. Motions for us to hop out and sit down on some plakky seats. Not a good sign. If Arriva did this on the way to Newcastle all hell would break loose. Half an hour later we attempted to ask what time we’d get going, but in typical Thai style he only seemed to care about what time he thought we’d get there – we thought. Which was 13:30, with the time now at 11:30 we made a hap-hazard guess that he’d eventually kick his ass into gear and actually start doing his job at 12:00. Almost smack on we were right. So after just over an hour sat by the side of the road we were off, at 12mph, towards Sichon. Then, just as we thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse…we realised what the powerful soundsystem was for. Karaoke. Oh yes, the driver banged on the beats, not Wet Wet Wet, oh no, these were traditional Thai beats of which none differed by more than an octave. So for the next 2 hours we endured what Afghans in orange jumpsuits wouldn’t even endure at Guantanamo Bay.
Arriving just (no surprise) after 13:30, and with perforated eardrums we quickly became the focus of the typical off-the-beaten-track-tourist-attention and were surrounded by motorcycle taxi guys offering us lifts to the beach and wide eyed kids wondering where on earth we were from – literally. After a refreshing Pepsi, and something Pink that Gary (in my opinion) mistakenly ordered we were off to the beach a couple of miles away.
Probably worth the journey, the beaches weren’t deserted, but we didn’t really have time to make our way down to the quieter stretches of sand further down the coast, so we set up camp at one of the two cafes on the beach and promptly ordered a spicy sausage and rice combo, which thinking back, was still spicy this morning…
After enquiring about the cost of the jet ski and banana boat, then realising that the jets ski actually pulled the banana boat (probably no faster than the bus journey) it was time to forget that and get a swim out of the way. Within 2 minutes I realised that my 200 THB casio purchased the previous evening was quite clearly as knock off as a Rolex from Taiwan. Rusty and completely flooded out it was to spell the beginning of a slightly difficult situation to become….
According to Gary’s biological clock (15:50) it was time to make for the walk back to where the bus dropped us off. We disagreed somewhat with what the driver had said about the return journey… Gary thought the guy said a 5 o clock leave, I thought he had said 6… but another one of those “doesn’t make sense things about Thaialand” is that these blokes are just concerned with what time you’ll arrive at your destination and don’t give a flying banana about the slightly more critical “leave time” aspect of your journey. Anyway, after a “find a toilet” adventure walk back from the beach, probably a good 2.5 miles away we spotted a clock in a shop which said 17:30. Slightly worrying Gary as he was sure the bus left at 5pm….Though I was sure he did mean leave at 6pm!!
He was absolutely right. I, completely wrong!!!
After 15 minutes or so of realising that our Chinese is probably better than their English we figured out that we’d definitely missed the last (and only) bus back to Takhon Si Tommasat, 65km (40 miles) away… So after bagging down a strawberry cornetto from 7-ELEVEN and working out what to do we decided to head to the bypass a half mile or so away and try and grab a lift from one of the buses heading down the Gulf coast from Bangkok. Then out of no where, Gary heard the never been heard in three days English, “do you need any help?”
Now that’s a reassuring voice to hear. A youngish girl on the back of her mothers moped had clearly spent sometime outside of this part of Thailand, which let me tell you – is few and far between!! Although only confirming our assumption that we’d missed the last bus it was good to hear and off to the bypass we headed, with a heck of a lot of funny locals from local Thais aimlessly sitting around outside their always completely empty and totally unnecessary cafés (of which there are way way way too many!! Cafes that is.)
After 15 minutes or so at the side of the raod awaiting any coach whatsoever, all we saw were buses headed the opposite direction. Plenty of ‘em! All bound for Bangkok. Not really surprising, considering that they usually all travel over night. After flirting the idea of hitching, before we even knew it, a reserved Thai chappy, late 20s walked towards us. It turns out he had seen us on passing the traffic lights, had parked up 800m or so along the road and walked all the way back to us to ask where we were headed. After trying to explain we were trying to get to Nahon Si Tammorat, that we’d missed the last bus, and carefully trying to read if this guy was genuine we decided to go for it, not wanting to be left there when dark fell in less than an hour.
Further reassured when we actually got to his pick-up (which contained his wife, looked like mother in law, son and daughter) he helped us into the back and away to Nakhon we headed, at warp speed compared to the bus. Not stopping til Nakhon, he and his wife even got out to ask us where exactly we wanted dropping. After trying to tell him that we didn’t mind walking from there they seemed more than pleased to drop us off right outside the Thai Hotel, where we were staying. Completely unable to unfathom our luck we tried to give the chap a few BAHT but we wasn’t having any of it. In the end we probably got back quicker than he would have on the bus!
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